Imprisoned

I was listening intently to the BNP ( Banal Na Pag aaral) facilitator last friday, he was intense and passionate yet almost oblivious to the power his words held. I knew he was about to say something important. And then it hit me, that question, “Is there anything in your past that you have intellectually set aside — and yet, emotionally, you know it’s still there, bothering you, blocking you, preventing you from being your best self?” It hit me like electricity zapping into my chest. It zapped to life something I held dormant inside.

I know myself as someone who, if the situation called for it, can be very clinical about things, even with my personal experiences. Given, however, that chance to go back and fetch some unprocessed memories, and the threat that perhaps unconsciously, my blocks come from those I’ve arrogantly intellectually set aside — I was just so ready to admit that yes, there is this one emotional memory that is still there lurking, bumping, jiggling inside me. And now it is making its way to my consciousness — and I am just guessing — for a reason.

It took just that powerful nudge, an invitation to look back and examine my blocks. It made me recognize the existence of that one emotional memory that made a prisoner out of me. While it fueled my drive to success, I realize that that happening now deserves to be put to rest. That from now on, I shall be operating on a much more aware and purposeful level. I should travel my journey simply to be the best I can be, to do the best I could, for my own growth, my self-actualization, and for sustaining my capacity to help, to give of myself, to be a relevant, significant, contributing, and functional member of the society I am in.

I wrote this post in the hopes of paying it forward. I am so edified with the process, and thought that maybe you too can learn a thing or two about yourself by asking that same question. “Is there anything in your past that you have intellectually set aside — and yet, emotionally, you know it’s still there, bothering you, blocking you, preventing you from being your best self?”