Brat Guy

He chose to be lazy, dependent brat happily partying and asking his parents for gimmick allowance. He gets what he wants. He took his 4 years course for 5 ½ years when he was in college dahil sa kalokohan. He is a member of fraternity (Delta Sigma). He always had gotten into some trouble at school. He had 4 stitches in his lips and 2 stitches in his right face. He also jailed in prison for one night because of this Org. He always wants to be the center of attention.

He is kind though. He the one you talk to when you're feeling down because he's willing to lend an ear and be a friend. He is the one you call when you need a date. He wants to be special to someone, too. We all do. Anyway, yeah. I'm the Brat guy. We cry, too. A lot.

The Brat guy has changed. He is now striving to be better than the day he was before. Baka sakaling mapatawad sya ng Diyos sa nagawang nyng malaking kasalanan. Kasalanan na habambuhay nya na ata pagbabayaran. He now thinks of the other before he thinks of himself. He loves more his family. He loves more God.

Sa mga nangyayari sa buhay natin, whether in our family, work or personal should have given us enough evident to change our live. We do not need wait for a particular painful event that fall on us before we decided to change our life. Change to be a better person or to achieve our heart's deepest desire.

There's still point after all...

This post is continuation of POINTLESS I wrote 2 weeks a ago..

Have you ever felt totally disillusioned with life? Ever felt that things were so bad they cannot possibly get any worse? The cruel truth is, it can get worse. This is by no means a reason for you to get even more depressed. Rather, why not appreciate and give thanks for what you still have? Today is my LOLO's 60th birthday. Thanks God. Sa wakas makikita ko uli mga pinsan ko. At the end of the day, family mo pa rin ang lalapitan mo pag my problema ka. Rather than let the bad things get you down, it is better to focus on the positives instead. Hindi ka nag iisa. There are a lot of things I have to appreciate. I won an iPod last week! Bwahahaha I have a new Prp shirt. I brother na laging basted is getting married! Yah0o!! I still have a work. Maraming naghahanap ng trabaho. Pag gising ko handa na ang food. Yung iba wala makain =( . Appreciate and take care of what you have while you still have them. I would like to say thank you sa kaibigan ko na d ako iniwan. My college friends Charles, Les, Lee at ang kakambal kong si Ice hehe. My office friends Kris (na gumastos ng 3 pesos sa haba ng text advice nya ). Kay Yen ( salamat sa Batman inadvance. LOlz ). Kay kiddo na malibog, na laging nagpapantasya kay Manang hehe. Kay MJ ( na wala naman ginawa pero ramdam ko presence ). Sa Spam community hehe . Kay Sir Alex sa load hehe. Sa Teamates ko. Sa TM ko na laging sumusuporta at nagtitiwala ( parang awards night lang hehe ). I would also like to thanks FnH for my clothes and Bambi Fuentes for my hair and make up. LOLz ( Kris Aquino? ) hehehe. Appreciate. Life might not seem so bad anymore then.

Happiness

My TM Tantan sent an email “There is no easy job. There is no easy life. Happiness is not attainable if you don’t chose to be happy of what you have right now. It is always a choice, a choice that everybody should make. “. Paulit ulit kong binasa. Haaay..yah right its is a matter of choice. Lagi kong sinasabi na hindi na ako masaya pero wala naman ako ginagawang paraan para mapabuti ako. It is our attitude that makes us feel happy or unhappy. We meet all kinds of situations during the day, and some of them may not be conductive to happiness. We can choose to keep thinking about the unhappy events, and we can choose to refuse to think about them, and instead, relish the happy moments. All of us constantly go through various situations and circumstances, but we do not have to let them influence our reactions and feelings. We can choose to be happy, and we can do a lot to add happiness to our lives. . I should learn to appreciate kung anong meron ako.

Alone

I don't know what to do anymore with my life. No matter how hard I try to better it, it always takes every turn for the worse. Everything keeps piling up, and I cannot do anything about it. I don't enjoy anything anymore really apart from when I take drugs or drink alcohol. When I’m on my own I feel empty and down. When I’m with other people I feel anxious and my moods can change dramatically from one moment to the next. I've lost trust in people. I'll be feeling happy and upbeat one minute and suicidal the next. I know that life is up and down, and that we have to accept that. But it's gotten to a point where I’m so far in a hole that I can no longer see the light...

POINTLESS

I'm always in the wrong place, at the wrong time & things never seem to go according to plan. Sometimes I feel like it's all pointless. I'm confused and restless and...TIRED.

I really do want to make my life worth something. I thought I knew how, but I guess I was wrong. The only part of the day I look forward to is day time after my work, when I get to leave everything behind and fall deep into sleep, and dream of another world, where everything is beautiful, where everything is alright.

I hate client. I hate this place. I hate this society thing, where we all have to do the same thing, and pretend, play the game. Make money to survive. Pay bills. Make Love. Plan this, plan that. Struggle with this, struggle with that. Can't do it. I'm not meant for this. Never was. I'm not even interested. I wish I could turn into wind, and float away. away. away. I feel like I just want to give up & rest...

In the meantime, I'll be tired. I'll be confused. Perhaps that will never go away. I'll be restless. Restlessness will lead to more frustration. Frustration will force me to find alternative ways of doing what I can to do for myself. And then there will be a point after all.

I'm Tired

My professor back in college said, “The road that we refuse to take is usually the road that leads to a good life. You just have to take a risk!” Sana ganon kadali. Sana kaya ko.Hindi nanaman ako makatulog kakaisip kung itutuloy ko pa to.I just keep on praying to God to continue giving me strength and wisdom to do what is right.

Always Be My Baby

It is often said that “first love never dies” but I hope it does. Because that little saying has ruined my relationships and has bothered me for years now!
My first love was my 3rd girlfriend. Yes, my 3rd girlfriend. In the 3rd year of our relationships, we broke up. We did not hear from each other since. I had two relationships after but all were short-lived. I don’t know why. After two years, we saw each other. I felt just how much I missed her. Her eyes. Her smile. But then, hindi na pwedeng maging kame. Memories of the past continue to haunt me. Somewhere, at the back of my mind, I still believe that she and I are meant for each other. She will always be my baby.