Alone

I don't know what to do anymore with my life. No matter how hard I try to better it, it always takes every turn for the worse. Everything keeps piling up, and I cannot do anything about it. I don't enjoy anything anymore really apart from when I take drugs or drink alcohol. When I’m on my own I feel empty and down. When I’m with other people I feel anxious and my moods can change dramatically from one moment to the next. I've lost trust in people. I'll be feeling happy and upbeat one minute and suicidal the next. I know that life is up and down, and that we have to accept that. But it's gotten to a point where I’m so far in a hole that I can no longer see the light...