POINTLESS

I'm always in the wrong place, at the wrong time & things never seem to go according to plan. Sometimes I feel like it's all pointless. I'm confused and restless and...TIRED.

I really do want to make my life worth something. I thought I knew how, but I guess I was wrong. The only part of the day I look forward to is day time after my work, when I get to leave everything behind and fall deep into sleep, and dream of another world, where everything is beautiful, where everything is alright.

I hate client. I hate this place. I hate this society thing, where we all have to do the same thing, and pretend, play the game. Make money to survive. Pay bills. Make Love. Plan this, plan that. Struggle with this, struggle with that. Can't do it. I'm not meant for this. Never was. I'm not even interested. I wish I could turn into wind, and float away. away. away. I feel like I just want to give up & rest...

In the meantime, I'll be tired. I'll be confused. Perhaps that will never go away. I'll be restless. Restlessness will lead to more frustration. Frustration will force me to find alternative ways of doing what I can to do for myself. And then there will be a point after all.